Lazarus

We have hermit crabs.  Four of them to be exact.  We'd much rather have a chocolate lab, I think, but thanks to my allergies to all things with fur or feathers, hermit crabs it is.

Hermit crabs have gotten much more expensive since I was a kid.  Used to be, you'd buy a crab on the boardwalk down the shore, stick it in a wire cage, and he'd live about a week -- two, if you were lucky and remembered to feed him.

Today, hermit crabs (ours, anyway) live in tricked-out habitats with a mix of coconut soil and sand, a gauge for humidity and one for temperature, and a thermostat and heat lamps to keep things at a cozy 80 degrees.  They require two types of water: salt water and dechlorinated water.  And their diet has changed, too -- no longer satisfied with those little brown pellet things, hermit crabs these days dine on a range of foods, from coconut to fresh fruits, from popcorn (yes, really!) to peanut butter.

So yesterday, as my eldest was spraying down the habitat to boost humidity, she called to me that it smelled like someone had died.  Sure enough, as I dug around to see if I could locate our four little friends, I found (gulp!) body parts -- enough to make one crab.  The kids were grossed out and ran to Daddy.  I was pretty grossed out, too, but kept digging. 

I found four live crabs and was perplexed.  This was brand-new soil that we just put in last week, so where did these body parts come from?

My husband, a Jersey shore boy, is very wise (sometimes).  He told me that all crabs shed body parts when they grow.  Really?  I figured they grew, just like our kids, in the same skin and just moved into a new house.

Sure enough, one of the crabs, "Sam" (or "Samuel" when he's feeling formal) sported a new, pink pincher that formerly was purple.

Guess we learn something every day. 

My Husband Thinks I'm Working

I'm in a master's degree program and do all my work online.  I should be working on school stuff right now, and here I sit, blogging.  Why?  I think my brain is frazzled and this is a good way to relax and maybe vent a bit.  Hmmm, a glass of wine might help, too.

I already mentioned the morning we had.  Today at work wasn't much better.  Pure craziness with no end in sight.  Our office is closed on Monday and, rather that bringing a big sigh of relief, it stresses me out because I keep thinking of the work that will continue to pile up in my absence.  Yes, really.

So I'm torn: do I do some work on my own time to catch up, or do I spend the day having fun with my kids?  My husband has to work so it'll just be the girls and me.

What I end up doing will likely be what I usually do -- spend the day with the girls and then, once I tuck them in, dive in and do some work so I'm not crazy when I return on Tuesday.

Oh wait -- I have a paper due on Monday!  What was I saying about balance?  And here I sit blogging...

Work/Life Balance (Nearly) Topples

So... I think this morning's post must have jinxed me.  I'm not sure what threw us off today, but something did and we ended up making a mad dash for the school bus -- hairbrush in hand because I had yet to brush my older daughter's long hair.  As we neared the bus stop, I looked down and realized that K had Uggs on instead of sneakers -- and she had indoor soccer tonight after school!  So I tossed her the brush, told her to start brushing, and high-tailed it back home for the sneaks. 

(This part will really impress you) I grabbed the sneakers, got in my car and drove to the bus stop.  Since K, of course, didn't brush her hair as asked, I brushed it out into a nice pony tail, put the sneakers in her bag, and kissed two kids before putting them on the bus!

Yes, I'm Superwoman -- and yes, that was my exercise for the day!

Balancing Act

So what else to expect from a busy momma -- a post about the work/life challenge.  Yes, it's been written before but not by me. 

I have two beautiful little girls and my love for them is limitless.  I've stayed home with each of them and as much as I relished that time, I yearned for more.  I found that I needed to be with adults, using my brain and abilities for more than Sesame Street and goldfish crackers.  Please don't misinterpret that.  While I'm sure not all stay-at-home moms feel this way, I did.

But the girls are older now -- in grade school -- and now I find myself wanting to slow down time.  My oldest surprised me yesterday by taking a bath all by herself.  She even washed her hair and got all of the soap out!  I'm very proud of her, but that's just one more thing that Mommy's not needed for.

Do I want to quit work and stay home?  Not by a long shot.  I think my kids and I are both happier when I'm working.  You know the saying, "If Momma ain't happy, nobody's happy"?   Yep, that would be me.  I need to work.  I need to feel like the gifts God gave me are being put to the best use and yes, I know my children are gifts, too.  Before we get into that argument, let me just say that I give my kids my very best.  When we're home together, I'm all theirs.  Just look at my house and you'll see proof of that: dusty shelves, messy rooms.  I'd rather play Candyland with them (one more time) than scoot them up to their rooms so I can clean.  The very reason I chose an online master's program was so I wouldn't have to give up time with my kids. 

No, I think I wish what all other parents wish -- for time to slow down so we can hold our babies just a little longer before they grow up.  My working isn't going to change that.

My Love-Hate Relationship

I have this ongoing battle with myself.  A love-hate relationship, if you will.  I'm not a bad person.  I try to be nice to people and animals alike.  I'm of average intelligence (some days are better than others in that arena), and I think I'm pretty good at what I do.  And, for a 40-something chick, I can still turn my husband's head.  Still, there are these thighs and that bulge in the belly area thanks to two little girls...

Yes, the battle I'm talking about is one I'm sure ladies my age know well -- the Battle of the Bulge and the Race against Father Time.

My husband and I have been married ten years.  When we returned from our honeymoon and got our photos back, the sight of me in a swimsuit made me cringe -- and so, off to Weight Watchers we went.  Both of us.  I lost 20 lbs. and became a Lifetime member.  My husband lost about 50 lbs. and looked wonderful.

Two kids later, that lost poundage (and then some) has found its way back.  Here I go again. Hopefully this blog will help me stay on track.

Blogging for Creativity

I kept a little white diary with a gold lock and key tucked under my mattress as a girl. There, like Anne Frank and so many other little girls, I shared my most personal secrets. Later, in high school, my little diary gave way to a journal. Here, the budding writer in me learned to experiment – to jot down ideas and play with story lines. Suddenly, my journaling wasn’t all about me, but an extension of me. It became my playground, a safe place to explore creatively without fear of having tender ideas being shot down before having a chance to fully develop. It was also a storage area for ideas that I didn’t see a use for at the moment, but might find a use for someday.

My journal became the place where I sketched wedding plans and later jotted down lists and lists of baby names, crossing some out and adding others as my husband and I debated.

Today, much of my journaling has moved from the leather-backed book with ruled pages (I write downhill otherwise) to electronic format. Regardless, I rely on this journaling as a place to get my creative juices flowing. I go there when I’m wrestling with something – coming up with new copy at work or something more personal. I also find myself journaling when I’m blocked. Somehow that seems counterintuitive: why use writing to try to get yourself out of writer’s block? Journaling is a different type of writing than I use in my professional life. In my journal, there are no rules. Okay, good grammar still applies – I was an English teacher once upon a time – but beyond that, anything goes. And best of all, there is no editorial approval process. Nobody sees this copy, or sketch or list of crazy thoughts but me. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to kick myself back into gear.

I wrote an article once, interviewing Kathleen Adams of the Center for Journal Therapy about how she uses journaling to help people bring about change in their lives (Adams, n.d.). Around the same time, JAMA published a study showing how writing about stressful experiences in a journal actually helped to improve the health of some people with asthma and rheumatoid arthritis (Smyth, 1999). I think we all have stress – copy deadlines, mortgage payments, gymnastics and soccer practice. A stressed-out writer has problems producing good copy. Journaling, then, can be used to reduce stress and release creativity.

I’m not alone in this belief. There are books and Web courses specially designed to help boost creativity through journaling. Some offer journaling prompts (“list 10 noteworthy events in the last 24 hours” or “what’s normal?”) while others show journal posts from others, which can be used as a launching point for one’s own creativity.


References
Abundance Blog at Marelisa Online (n.d.). Retrieved from: http://abundance-blog.marelisa-online.com/2009/09/11/119-journal-prompts-for-your-journal-jar/
Adams, K. (n.d.). Center for Journal Therapy. Retrieved from: http://journaltherapy.com/journaltherapy/kathleen-adams/about-center-for-journal-therapy
Creative Magic Academy (n.d.). Retrieved from: http://www.creativemagicacademy.com/creative-journal-magic-turn-your-journal-into-a-magic-wand/
Creative Writing Prompts (n.d.). Retrieved from: http://creativewritingprompts.com/
Smyth, J., Stone, A., Hurewitz, A., and Kaell, A. (1999). Effects of Writing About Stressful Experiences on Symptom Reduction in Patients With Asthma or Rheumatoid Arthritis. JAMA. 281(14):1304-1309. doi:10.1001/jama.281.14.1304